ACTUAL NEWSPAPER ADS:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites.


FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.


FREE PUPPIES...
Mother, AKC German Shepherd
Father, Super Dog...able to leap tall fences in a single bound.


FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG.
Looks like a rat .. Been out a while. Better be a reward.


COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.


NORDIC TRACK
$300 Hardly used, call Chubby.


GEORGIA PEACHES
California grown - 89 cents lb.


JOINING NUDIST COLONY! !
Must sell washer and dryer $300.


WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.
WORN ONCE BY MISTAKE.
Call Stephanie.


FOR SALE BY OWNER:
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer.
No longer needed, got married last month.
Wife knows everything.